I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You left your phone here
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