highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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