after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
