i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
