take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
