His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
