Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
