I hope mine doesn't look like that
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
