Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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