She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
