dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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