Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize