How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
