My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize