I didn't shave. On purpose
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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