Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
