Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
