Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize