And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
