My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
