dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
