I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it glows. i had to have it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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