I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
