I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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