i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize