dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
