I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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