okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
