Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize