butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
