Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
