DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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