Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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