I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is the high leading the old right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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