I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
