But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
