Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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