I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
