NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
