you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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