me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
