i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
