Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
