a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I understand Curling. That high.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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