Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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