that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
