This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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