she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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