What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
