is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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