he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
