You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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