If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
