I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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