After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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