We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
