Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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