I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
